With improving living conditions in the Western world new health problems have become the focus of present day debate and worries. Many new solutions are marketed towards people trying to fit into the norm; or perhaps more correctly trying to fit into the ideal of the rich, beautiful, and slim person. Apart from new exercise methods (requires that you exercise) and hyped diets (requires that you buy the book) there is the possibility of functional food. The term is used for food products that have a medical value in addition to the nutrition or taste for which foodstuff so far have been selected. The idea is not that we should by our food at the pharmacy from now on, but to change our food instead of our habits. The manufacturer who can sell margarine that is actually good for your heart have of course an advantage among consumers who are more and more concerned with what they eat but still do not want to give up all the good stuff.
It is surprising that not more have been heard about homeopathic functional food since this is an area where the technique really can do a difference. At least, if one trusts the theory of homeopathy, it must be the ideal cure for obesity and other illnesses of exorbitant living.
One problem with homeopathy has always been to find the right cure. The cure is found by identifying a substance that will give the same symptom in a healthy person as the symptom the patient experience. If someone, when given substance A, get a headache this means that a patient with a headache should be given a potion made of substance A. This may sound counter-intuitive but is an established experimental “fact” in homeopathy. Unfortunately, modern medical science have not found this general effect. This is probably due to a lack of trying or simple suppression of results that could help patients.
That the effect is there is such a cornerstone in homeopathy that, since so many know that homeopathy work, it must be true. Why modern science ignores this efficient and cheap way to find new drugs is open for discussion. Though it is evident that medical companies after spending million of Euros want to sell their inferior products as expensively as possible. And how could they possible justify the price if they did not spend so much on research? Obviously all cheaply developed medical techniques must be anathema to big corporations. As anyone understanding homeopathic medicine realise, to sell expensive is much more important than a low production cost.
Some people wonder what the implications that several substances can give a healthy person a headache are. Naturally, there may be several substances that can cure a headache, but one must not forget to differentiate between substances with additional symptoms and merely a simple headache. There are substances that will give people (apart from a headache) a feeling of sickness and the intention to never again spend Saturday night in a certain manner. These symptoms are easily cured by administering more of the substance to the patient. But if one would try some other cause of headache (like a blow to the head) the patient would probably only be upset. To find a cure for only headache is thus somewhat more complicated than to find a substance that will give a headache since there are many different kinds of headaches.
This is what makes homeopathic theory adapted towards functional food so interesting. In a healthy person, the symptom of obesity can be obtained by the intake of e.g. cream in the form of cream cakes, cream horns, cream buns etc. Thus we know that cream can give these symptoms and accordingly that cream is the cure for obesity of the cream kind. Other kinds of obesity are then caused and cured by other products like e.g. chips, jam, chocolate, and sugar. This is of course merely a hypothesis but fits so very nicely with what is known from homeopathy today. So it must be true.
Obviously the harm done by one cream cake cannot be cured by another cream cake, nobody is stupid enough to believe that. It would be impossible to know if one cream cake was supposed to be the cure for the other one or if one was eating two cream cakes. Fortunately, it is a proven experimental fact in homeopathy, that the cure will work better if you take less. (Why science still believe that the effect of a drug increases the more you take of it is impossible to understand.) What is necessary is to dilute the substance giving the symptom, i.e. to take a lot less of the second cream cake. The wonderful thing about homeopathy is that the cure becomes more and more potent the more it is diluted.
It is a good thing teenagers have not figured this out; imagine what they could do with half a bottle of alcohol and buckets of water. But then again, alcohol may be an exception from the rule. After all, it was initially used in homeopathy as the diluting agent before shifting to water. Perhaps it was not surprising enough that people preferred the remedies with more alcohol in them to those with less, hence the change to water.
For spoiled westerners of today, homeopathy brings a happy message about the possibility to eat cream cakes without any unpleasant side effects. After eating a cream cake, you take a lot less of the second cream cake and Bob’s your uncle. This is much more pleasant than taking a lot less of the first cream cake as all those nutrition “experts” want you to do.
But wait, there is more!
In homeopathic medicine it is possible to do dilutions so strong that there is noting at all left of the second cream cake, so to speak. With an understanding of the molecular nature of matter, it is possible to know when there is not a single molecule left of the original drug in the solution. And even after this it is possible to dilute the drug further thus making it even stronger.
So what happens when one take even less than nothing of the second cream cake? I do not know if the exact relations are known but the principle is followed by many well paid homeopaths. At some degree of dilution, the nothing one take of the second cream cake must cancel what one is eating of the first cream cake. Making the dilution even stronger, the health effects would be larger than the unwanted effects of a cream cake.
Now we know how to make a dilution that cancels more of the bad effects of one cream cake than what is actually caused by one cream cake. In the same way as most homeopathic pills are sprayed with a potent dilution of nothing we can now spray our cream cakes. Presto, we have a cream cake ready for the functional food market. The cake does not only have no unhealthy effects, it will even make you better than if you had no cake at all.
This is clearly a concept for a new an profitable health industry where many specific food products today believed to be bad for you can be treated to give beneficial effects, even if consumed in huge amounts. Why the homeopathic industry is not at it already is hard to understand, especially since there is money to be made.
It could have something to do with those stupid scientific tests.
The idea for this essay was presented to me by Magnus Lundberg but the implementation of the idea is all my fault.