HomeSkepticismThe Lighter Side of Darkness

October, 2002
This is the FAQ related to the main treatise on Blue Fairies.

Q: Were the Blue Fairies on the Moon responsible for the Apollo 13 disaster?

A: Yes, they were. Apollo 13 was supposed to land on the Moon in the Fra Mauro area. This area is heavily populated by the Blue Fairies, and prior agreements between them and the U.S. government strictly prohibited our landing there. The U.S. felt compelled to violate this agreement in their hubris over beating the pants off the Russians in the race to the Moon. After beating the USSR, Blue Fairies seemed like no big deal. Wrong again!

Q: Every time I bring my car in for an oil change, the mechanic always finds several other repairs my car needs. What is going on?

A: You are clearly being victimized by the Blue Fairies. This is where the legend of "gremlins" comes from. Blue Fairies don't need mechanical encumbrances to travel and often like to pick on people who do. They are sending a message to you to Free yourself.

Q: My 4 year old child has recently begun to talk to some "imaginary" friends. Are they real?

A: Yes, they are. Blue Fairies often communicate to children they have Chosen. These children will one day play an important part in some very exciting future events which I cannot reveal at this time. They often appear to children as small animals, and other various creatures, and little people.

Q: Are Blue Fairies responsible for UFO sightings?

A: No, they aren't. Blue Fairies don't need mechanical encumbrances to travel. The Blue Fairies have indicated to me that they know what UFOs really are, but have chosen not to be specific at this time.

Q: Do Blue Fairies believe in God?

A: Of course they do! Bless your heart for asking.

Q: I think I may have Blue Fairies wreaking havoc in my home. What can I do until I receive a personal visit from you to rid me of them?

A: Sometimes talking out loud to them helps. But this often leads to more harm than good. Blue Fairies will tone down their activities if you wear a crystal amulet that I can send you for a small fee. This will minimize their damage until I get there. This will offer you some protection outside the home, as well. Currently, there is a two year backlog of personal visits by me, so you may need long-term preventative items. I have a Blue Fairies Home Prevention Kit which contains a substance you spread around the base of all your windows and doors, some Empowered Candles which Blue Fairies find pleasing to their senses, a long-playing CD of music that Blue Fairies find soothing, and an Impregnable T-Shirt embossed with magic symbols which repel Blue Fairies and keep them from harming you directly. Additional T-shirts may be purchased for your family members. And keep your eyes open for our upcoming line of Impregnable Pet Sweaters, available in a variety of colors and sizes!

Q: How do I contact you for advice or for a Blue Fairies Home Prevention Kit?

A: E-mail me at bluefairiesonthemoon@hotmail.com. Because of my huge following, if you want a quick response, make sure you put the secret word "Gremlin" in the subject line. Shhhhhhh. Don't tell anybody the secret word.

Q: I e-mailed you and asked for a Blue Fairies Home Prevention Kit and still haven't heard a response from you. What gives?

A: I'm a busy person. Can't you see that? I have to mix the recipes for the powders and candles personally. The Blue Fairies won't allow anyone else to be in on the secret. I don't always have time to answer every person who writes me. Get off my back.

Q: I finally got my Blue Fairies Home Prevention Kit. I was so excited! Then I spread the powdery substance around my doors and windows according to the strangely worded directions. I put an Empowered Candle in every room. I donned my T-shirt, and went to bed. The next morning, I found my cat dead by the front door. He had white stuff around his nose. What is going on?

A: Sounds like you have a particularly nasty bunch of Blue Fairies in your home. They may be angry at your attempts to rid yourself of them. You may be in real danger. You need my Blue Fairies Super-Strength Home Defense Kit. E-mail me as soon as possible.

Q: I think your lieing. Your a fake.

A: Is there a question in there? Write me again when you learn how to spell.